Delay...Delay...Delay...

The kid room

The kid room

There's been a long delay of moving into our new home.  We had to do a whole re-wire of the home because the former owner placed insulation on the knob and tube.  We contracted with Bradd who turned out to take our money after doing 50% of the job (we gave him two partial draws) and he took off for 3 weeks.  He kept on noting that "I'll be there tomorrow to work".  This went on for 3 weeks.  Completion date got moved 3 times so we ended up firing him.  While in the firing process, we found out that he was only a journey man who did not have liability insurance and he didn't pull a permit.  Our new electrician is on board but he is busy.  He's going to try to work on two rooms this week so we could move in and work around the mess of the rewiring.  We have been staying out at my in-laws home about 20 minutes from our new home.  Luckily they are in Seattle for a month.  I can't wait until we are in our new home though.  I'm tired of living out of a suitcase and the kid needs a routine prior to school.

The kid wanted a "red, white, and blue room" because he noted "I love my country".  I love how the blue turned out.  It's stunning.  It's a Sherwin William's Cashmir paint that matched Behr's Compass color.  In the room we are having some red and white curtains from Land of Nod along with curtain rods from Target that he picked out because "they have crystals on them".  What can I say, he has a great eye!

Our room is going to be a Copen Blue from Sherwin Williams.  We are going to have to refinish the floor as when we pulled the carpet, the floors were not finished in our room.  It just had some stain that was haphazardly placed on it.  We want it to shine and to show the beauty.  The curtains are going to be a french rod from Target.  Curtains are a Sullivan Khaki from JC Penny because those mini builds have to go!

I really like how everything is turning out.  We have the downstairs and kitchen repainted so I will add those pictures soon.  I love how my kitchen turned out!

Things are moving along...

Well, we are set to close on our old home this Friday and we are set to close on our new home on the 18th of July.  We decided to place our home back on the market and go after a home in the neighborhood that I have been stalking for 4 years.   I just gave up on living there because it was impossible to find a 1920/1930s home because we limited our search to 3 streets.  I found out that someone was selling and we were able to link with the man.  We are doing a FSBO with him and we went with our agent to sell our home.  Our home sold within 5 days at the price we were wanting.  So out with the old, in with the...well old but new to us!

I'm really excited about the house.  It was built by a doctor in the 1920's.  The neighborhood is filled with some beautiful gems.  Plus the kid will be able to take advantage of the Kalamazoo Promise where 95% of his tuition will be paid for at a Michigan college because he is starting there in 1st grade.  No college debt for him.  The other positive thing is that Chris can take any job once his company leaves Kalamazoo as we are not doing another move with them.

Front of the home

Kitchen where my retro table will go in

Formal living room

Double ovens and wine (beer fridge!) 

Farm house sink

Bedroom

Oh and Fit Body Bootcamp is amazing!  I'm still going strong and almost 30lbs down :) Woot Woot!  Here's a current pic of me vs. when I was 17 that I came across while moving.

And just another link to add to the chain...

Argh....it's been a rough 9 days.  We were this close getting into our dream house.  Sellers accepted our bid, we had people bidding on our house, and then I get a text from Chris which noted "Call me ASAP".  This has never happened before.  I called him to find out that his office is closing in two years.  F*** me.

Yup.  They are pulling everyone into the hubs.  They can either ride it out, get a sweet ass severance package, or relocate to one of the hubs in Phoenix, Atlanta, or Dallas.  Another F*** me. 

Chris's team is going to Dallas or actually Richardson, Texas.  We could do another relocation with the company but the thought of living in Texas does nothing for us. 

Bah...no more words to express my disgust right now.  This is the second time in our life that this is happening.  Except that before, I lived in my dream home and had my dream job.  Now, I have my 2nd dream job and my second dream house is *POOF* plus we have a six year old who we already are pulling from one school...now to go to another...then a cross country move...I don't think I can do it or want to do it. 

Now Chris has to figure out...does he find a new job, do we ride the wave to the end and get a years pay plus cashing out his vacation time, and do we move.

Yup...

Despite the stress, the workouts and weight is doing great.  I'm down 22 pounds since March 20th.  I'll keep plugging.  The most recent picture is on the left...

One chain of events...

It's funny how one chain of events can lead into something.  We love(d) our son's school.  It was amazing.  Things were rolling great.  He was going to be there until the 8th grade.  The next years teacher strived to create a relationship with each student.  Then right before spring break the head of school pulls us into the office.  It appears that the school struggling financially due to prior administration.  They will be letting go of a teacher and combine 1/2nd grade plus staff has to take a mandatory 10% pay cut.  He noted that it would be awesome for the 1/2nd grade teacher to already have a relationship with the kids.  So we ASSUMED (you know about ASSUME) that it would be the current teacher whom we adore (she is so amazing).  After spring break, we found out that they are letting the first grade teacher go.  Then the current second grade teacher will teach both 1/2nd, though parents just put up with her.  We were not happy. Then the pending 1/2 grade teacher announced her retirement.  Then we found out other information which made us more unhappy and ethically we could not go back to the school next year with a clear conscience.  We didn't want the kid to go to the neighborhood school.  Even though it's rated one of the "best" by state standards, we wanted something different for our son, such as STEM but that was our option.  Then last Saturday, the kid started AYSO in a neighboring district.  Just so happens to be the community where Chris grew up.  The kid was playing on the same field that Chris did as a kid.  Chris did a lot of volunteering with the organization to prep the fields.  He was really impressed with the people.  We get out there and everyone was amazing.  Warm, welcoming, etc.  The kids played well together, they worked as a team and they compliemented the kid at the end.  That night we were sitting in bed and processing the day together.  Chris noted "I might have to eat crow about my[hometown].  The kids and parents were amazing and I want [the kid] to go there".  Funny because when I observed that last week.  I thought the same way.  The schools also offer STEAM for all the children and they have a partnership within the community and companies to have robotics, coding, makers space, etc.  This is what the kid had at his private school but now we can get it at public? Yes please!  This sent on a Zillow search of the area.  We both looked at a home that caught our eye.  It just so happened to have an open house that next day.  We drove out to the open house and it was breath taking.  It had everything I wanted and it even looked like a modern bungalow.  So we called Chris's parents and they came out.  They loved it to.  So we grabbed the relator's information.  She noted that her clients would be okay with a continegency, which would help us.  We discussed the pros/cons of moving after we left.  We are just currently "staying" in our home.  When we moved from GR, we could not really enjoy the transition.  It was stressful, quick, etc.  Nor did we have the time to pick out a house as we had to just pic up a spec home from the builder.  Don't get me wrong, my current house is very beautiful but it's not what we wanted for our forever home.  We called up the relator and noted we were interested.  She made an appointment with us for Tuesday but we cancelled because the kid had his first T-ball game that night so she met with us on Wednesday.  She walked through the house and noted "We can sell this one fast" then we discussed the new house.  We offered a price but knowing we had another price in mind.  She presented the offer to the dream house owners and they countered at the price we had in mind plus threw in the kayaks/paddles, lawn mower, all the sun room furniture, and all the spare bedroom furniture.  Deal!  So our house is slated to list about 1.5 weeks later.  We then start to prep our home.  Yesterday there is a knock at the door and it was a realtor.  They just happen to ask if we are open to selling our house and Chris noted "yes and we are working with a realtor".  They chatted for about 10 minutes and then took our agents number then called her.  Showing on Monday, even before it listed.  Our house is currently in a majorily desired neighborhood and most houses sell within 4 days.  Decluttering is happening this weekend.  Showing on Monday, listing on Friday, and hopefully selling quick.  Here's to new adventures and hopefully getting my dream house!

Amazing....

We loved Fit Body Boot Camp so much we are no official members.  I'm down a total of 14 pounds for the month, 6" in measurements, and over 3% in body fat.  I work out a total of 5-6 times per week too.  I love the program because it never gets old.  It's 30 minutes and you are out the door.  

In part of doing the Fit Body, I incoporated The Whole 30 plan.  So far, I'm 100% following the plan.  I made it through Easter with no issues.  I can walk through Costco and not stop for samples which is impressive. Woot Woot Woot!  I'm planning on doing the plan until school gets out and then add some foods in.  Here's to the next 30 days!

Day 12 out of....

Wow, this Fit Body Bootcamp is amazing.  I cannot believe the results that I am getting from doing their program and incorporating #thewhole30 in the program.  I'm on day 12.  I have to weigh in for the challenge portion of the Fit Body and last week I was down 7lbs...yes, that is 7lbs in one week!  I have no idea of how much I weigh right now but I'm feeling terrific.  I have never, ever, ever had results like this and I'm eating real food which I love to cook.  My favorite meal so far has been the chicken-shawarma.  It takes a marinating time so I marinated the chicken for 24 hours.  By far it was the best tasting chicken ever plus it fits with the program.  The leftovers even tasted delicious!  The second favorite is the homemade spaghetti sauce with roasted spaghetti sauce. I tried using zucchini noodles but I wasn't impressed.

The beautiful thing about being a school social worker is that I get spring break off.  I'm so excited and this was a well deserved break.  Paperwork is done and I have nothing to do except look at a behavior plan while I am out.  I have to say, I have the best gig ever.  I feel so fortunate to be at the school.  This past week, I got to visit some fellow social workers who I clinically supervise in Detroit.  It was neat to visit them in person as I've been Skyping with them since the fall.  I'm just in a great place now compared to where I was 4 years ago.  I always think about April's Fool day of 2013 where I gave my notice to my boss who I didn't click well with.  It was the best decision to get out of that situation.  Nine months was way too long for me to work there.  The next job was good but the commute was just long.  Now I have quality time with the kid.  I think over spring break, I'm going to food prep for the next six weeks.  The kid starts T-ball after break which is two nights a week, he's in lacrosse, AYSO soccer, and he's a lion scout so we are going to be non-stop during the week/weekends.  I haven't put a halt on the activities as he loves all of them so we haven't made him choose yet.  We will be running until June so it will be a quick 9 weeks.  Then summer break!  Can't wait!

Day 5 of Fit Body Boot Camp....

I'm on day 5 of fit body boot camp and things are going terrific! I'm caffeine/ dairy/ processed food/sugar (processed) free this week.  I'm really digging the food and the variety.  Yesterday, I made a homemade turkey tomato sauce with spaghetti squash and it tasted amazing.  This was my lunch today featuring a lovely kale, cabbage, and brussel sprout salad.

The plan is amazing and it's working.  It's the first time ever that I am losing weight when hitting a gym and doing a new meal plan.  The meal plan is similar to the Whole 30 Plan and my body is really responding well to it so far.

The gym is fabulous.  It's nice because my co-workers go and our friend is meeting up with us.  She's 57 and she really rocking it out.

The only thing challenging about the program is that I will probably need to think ahead as the kid has spring sports.  He started lacrosse on Thursday and it will run every Monday/Thursday.  Then tball starts next month sometime. Then comes soccer on Wednesday/Saturday in late April.  It will be an uber busy spring! I think Sunday will be a food prep day and when we get home, we will reheat.  The kid loves sports and he's actually good at it.  His favorites are these three.  I know eventually we will need to narrow them down but right now it's good to expose him to these sports and he loves being active.  He's the type of kid that would be outside non-stop with sports if he could.


It was 76 degrees out today.  The sun was out and there was a perfect wind.  I'm ready for summer.  I have to say the amazing thing about working for school is the breaks.  Never in my life would I have dreamed of having a summer off.  I'm going on my third summer and words cannot say how amazing it is.  We hope to go camping a lot this summer around Michigan so I'm super excited of what's to come.

Fit Body Boot Camp is...

Fit Body Camp is Awesome!  Day 3 of the 28 day challenge and I've been caffeine free for 3 days.  No processed food for 3 days and have been eating clean.  It's pretty similar to the Whole 30 program.  To the left is my yummy dinner from yesterday which was a turkey burger with grilled onions, cauliflower rice, and spring mix salad.  Below are turkey tenderloins with squash/zuchinni with a salad.

The workouts are fast paced but good.  There's a huge amount of support when you are working out.  Today there were two coworkers there and a friend.  Chris had a last minute meeting so he went to the 5:30 meeting.  I'm sore as all heck but I know I'm doing good!

Tomorrow, lacrosse starts for the kid.  It goes from 5:45 - 7:15 so I cooked tomorrow's dinner tonight so that we will be set up for success.

Fit Body Bootcamp Challenge...day 0

I'm getting back on the band wagon.  My coworkers have been extremely successful with Fit Body Bootcamp.   Fit Body Bootcamp is like Curves but no machines, just weights and some equipment.  It's 30 minutes total so you are in and out. I start on the 20th of March. I've been watching my coworkers lose a ton of weight since August.  One coworker lost 50 pounds and even one who is extremely fit lost 10 plus she is getting ripped.  I've wanted to join but I didn't get my motivation until recently because it was impossible to put this first.  I signed up for the little black dress challenge that is a 28 day program.  Chris and our friend signed to try the place out on a groupon deal so we will see what happens!

The interesting thing about my body, it's clung to about the same weight for the past six years.  I did go down when I got sick with my embolism last year but it went back up slowly,  I packed on a few pounds around Christmas time where I went from 215-222 quickly.  I don't know what happened but I gained quickly.  I started swimming again for about 3 weeks and I grew frustrated about the gain.  I ended up hovering about 225 after that, which totally sucked.  Eating wise...well...been eating out a little too much so I am welcoming the change and the challenge.

Life has been awesome in some areas and a bummer in others.  The bad: we had to put our cat to sleep a few weeks back.  He was slowly getting worse since fall and we found out the week of his death after doing multiple tests that he had cancer.  I loved that cat so much.  I also found out that my uncle is dying of liver cancer so this stuff has weighed heavily on me for the past few months.  The good: the kid is doing well in kindergarten.  We love the school and it was the best choice ever to send him to the school.  He has 12 in his class and the teacher is amazing.  We adore her.  Chris is on the PTO so it's nice to be involved.  We are also keeping busy with sports for the kid.  He's in lacrosse, soccer, tball, and hockey. Luckily the hockey season just ended but lacrosse, soccer, and tball will keep us busy.  He really enjoys doing it and it's entertaining to watch.  Work is awesome.  I love being a school social worker.  It's the best job....EVER...I love my team of coworkers.  They are the best.

I have to stop asking the universe certain things...

It's been one heck of a month.  Things were flowing since getting my new school job.  I was dropping the pounds naturally, working out 5x per week, and had a great steady pace.  That was until the middle of last month.  I got a virus...one of those horrible upper respiratory viruses that just stuck.  Then two weeks later, I got a flu shot.  Not exactly the smartest thing to do is to get a flu shot while your immune system is struggling. Then week three of sickness hits.  I'm not getting any better, in fact, I'm getting worse.  No energy, horrible cough for three weeks so I hit urgent care...20 minutes before close on Halloween.  Not a good idea either...dx was upper respiratory and I was prescribed cough medicine.  Then I do something extremely stupid, which was taking kid out in rain for Halloween where I get totally soaked.  Two days later, I'm back in urgent care...dx bronchitis and placed on antibiotics, inhaler, and jacked up cough medicine that made me manic.  That week is horrible...I'm barely functioning.  I somehow manage to make it 75% of the week at work.  Mind you, that I'm rarely sick, I haven't used a sick day since 2001.  I get worse but I push through because I have some school meetings and some IEPs, I need to be there.  Then, Chris goes out to training to Chicago for work and luckily my parents come down to help.  I continue to struggle so I go to urgent care once again because I'm in horrible pain from my rib where I was coughing too much.  DX, rib contusion...next night, I wake up with a pounding heart where it was jumping out of my chest.  Blood pressure is 177/110.  I can't calm down, I'm radiating pain in my chest in a different area.  I try to focus for an hour and continue to struggle.  I start goggling...I know, it's not necessarily good to do that at all but I do.  My symptoms match blood clot but I'm still convinced it was a super bad panic attack but then I figure WTH, just go in to the ER.   I have insurance, I just need to go. I left the house while my parents and kid were sleeping, I didn't tell them where I was going. I go in to the ER, get seen fairly quickly.  Give the symptoms plus explain that I have major hx anxiety.  Doctor listens so he has me do some xrays.  Everything looks good but vitals are still horrible.  Then he has me in for a cat scan.  They hit me with some morphine and fluids.  Morphine is totally whacked...never felt that feeling before.  I have no clue why someone would want to get high off it because that feeling is not fun when it hits your body.  I wait, wait, wait.  Three hours after the cat scan, doctor comes in.  I have a small pulmonary embolism in my right lung.  Shit, there was something wrong with me.  I call Chris for him to come home, left a message for my parents, texted my principal and sister.  My parents thought that I was at school until my sister got a hold of them.   I was admitted to the medical floor after having a heparin drip.  First doctor scares the crap out of me, I was told that I'm needing to take a blood thinner for 6 months and that I will not be able to be active at all.  All I can do is go to work and that's it.  Okay...scared...I'm non stop.  Then I'm in there for 1.5 days.  Discharge doctor clarifies that it's a small blood clot and she's not too sure how it got there because I had a clean ultrasound for my legs, no DVT.  She notes that I can go back to exercising and not too worry about limiting activity, which is much better.  I get linked up with a doctor down here as my old doctor retired in Grand Rapids.  He reports just like the second doctor that I'm okay to exercise.  He cannot explain the PE but reports that I should be off the meds in 3 months.  Then we discussed my weight and he was cool about it but we are going to get it down.  I'm going in for testing for anemia and tests to see if I have the genetics that may effect clotting issues plus he hooked me up with a mammogram...happy 40th birthday to me.  So what a month, super scary but I'm happy that I am okay.  I'll be off the meds hopefully soon but whosh...I don't ever want to go through that again.  I asked the universe a few months back for a wake up call for my hx, I guess I got it.

Things are still going amazing at work.  I love my job.  School social work is the best.  We work hard and put 12 months of work into 10 but it's the most rewarding job ever.  I'm blessed.  Kid and I had a wonderful summer.  It was simply amazing between spending the summer at the beach, air zoo, nature center, and library.

The kid is going to school next year...I can't believe it.  Looking around at the local school, they are cramming in 26-30 kids in a classroom with no para-support.  It's supposed to be the best school in there area, but heck, I'm not drinking that Koo laid.  Hum....no thanks, 26-30 is INSANE for a kindergarten classroom.  After some looking, we found a private STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Math) that we plan on sending him to.   They get gym 4x per week, Spanish 4x per week, and Art 2x/Music2x.  Plus they have robotics, which is a major plus.   Chris is really passionate about the school especially since he has found his new passion at work with programing and he would like to give the kid every opportunity for exposure that he can get.  Chris got this massive promotion last spring to be in analytics at his company and he has been programming/automating across the whole company enterprise, so needless to say, he found his passion.  Since we set this goal a few months back, we have been aggressively saving money each week so the kid can attend there.   I was wondering last week how we were not going to have to dip into savings/keep the same savings schedule going but again....the universe answered my question by giving me a heck of a long on call shift so Christmas is on my old job :)  I so have to stop asking the universe things because I might not want to go through the situation.

Here's to health...and off of meds in 2.5 months.

Things are settling in....

Wow, my new life is amazing.  It feels so good to say this.  The new job is terrific.  Couldn't be happier.  I am fortunate to have some awesome team members and some great kids that I get to work with.  Life is good!  It's been a long time since I have been truly able to utter those words.

I went from a very sedentary job to an active job.  To walk from one end of the building to the other side is about .25 round trip so I'm ranking in the miles.  I started back on the gym Saturday so I'm finding my groove again.

In slimming down the life style, I did cancel WW.  I'm going to try spark people to log my calories.  I can't justify $42.95 any more because I haven't been going to the meetings.  So we will see where it goes.  WW will always be there.  It's not the only tool out there.  Plus, carving out an hour on the weekend in the afternoon has been tough.  I just want to hang with Chris and the kid.  

So here's to a good flow again.  I have hope!

New job, new life?

January 5th, I start my new job.  It's 5 minutes from home...yes, 5 minutes from home.  Hours are 7:45 - 3:45 but best of all summers off!  Yes summers off!!!  I never ever have to work about daycare in the summer.  I'll continue to do some part time work with my current work place but oh my goodness, life is only going to change for the better.  Chris is up for a massive promotion in his department too so it's looking awesome on all fronts.  It's been quite a while since I've felt that life is finally heading in the direction that we would like it too.  It's going to be an awesome 2015!

Just a little patience...

It's been four years since we knew that things were going to change in our life.  I was pregnant with the little guy and we found out that Chris's job was going to be transferred within two years.  Knowing that we were going to have to switch up everything was...well not fun.  I have trouble embracing change.  In my mind, I want to keep everything the same.  I knew what I wanted my life to be like.  We would live in our Grand Rapids house forever.  I would work at my old job.  Chris would still be at his job.  And we would fit the kid in there somewhere but that's not how it worked out to be.  We had to make a choice and driving back on christmas day 2011, I knew I did not want my husband to be stuck in a car pool 5x a week going down from Grand Rapids to Kalamazoo.  I knew then I would have to push my comfort zone and embrace the idea of moving.  Unfortunately, I never really embraced what was happening.

The last few years have been interesting.  I sometimes look at my life and feel like the Talking Heads song "Once in a Lifetime".  Especially in the lyrics part of "And you may ask yourself What is that beautiful house? And you may ask yourself Where does that highway go to?  And you may ask yourself Am I right?...Am I wrong? And you may say to yourself yourself My God!...What have I done?! "  

Which is true because there are times that I had to sit back and go "whose life is this because it's not feeling like mine".  It's not felt like mine really especially the last two years.   Like "this is not really my house...this is not really my life".  I kept wanting to wake up and hope it was a dream.  I grabbed a job that was very eye opening.  I knew I didn't follow my gut and I totally screwed myself.  Then I got into my present position.  I knew it was going to be okay but I didn't know for how long.  I had to learn to look at my life instead of a whole picture like I usually do to looking at my life with just blinders.  Then last week, an opportunity fell on my lap that is still blowing my mind.  Our whole life is going to change for the better.  Blinders off and I'm seeing the whole picture...and I can't be more excited.

Life is going to be amazing again...and I can't wait...and it's taken just a bit of patience :)

Things are settling down...

Things are finally settling down.  I'm no longer a contract worker, which is freaking awesome.  I never realized how much that was bothering me until recently.  I was told that I would have a position post 10/1 but I'm not trusting so I worried a lot more than I should have.  Even though regular employment has a "false sense of security", I wanted that...and I didn't have it until last week.  I'm permanent and I got the salary adjustment that I was looking for.  Needless to say, I'm feeling better about the job.  There's supposed to be bigger things in store for me during the next few months so I will wait and see...but not hold my breath!

Tonight, I hit the basement.  It's been several months since I have been down there.  There's a ton of boxes from our old house that need to be unpacked.  It's been two years and every time I go down there, I run back upstairs because it's way too overwhelming.  Determined to find my pumpkin patch that I know is down there, I started peeking.  I didn't run and I've come to the conclusion, that it's got to be organized and stuff needs to be either be used, donated, or tossed.  Eventually, we are going to want to finish that off so it needs to happen.  Hopefully over the next few months, we'll get it done.  I didn't find my pumpkin patch but I did find my vintage jewelry, old picture, and postcard album that I thought I lost so it was good.  The one good thing is I love the feeling of "Oh, I remember I got that....".

Went back to WW a few weeks back.  I'm doing the filling foods option and so far so good.  The meeting is smaller and everyone seems to be nice.  We'll see how it goes but I had to do something :)

My little guy is 3.5 years old :)

My little man is 3.5 years old :) He is so smart and spunky it blows my mind some times (and tries my patience at times).  He is so tall and looks older that it's hard to believe he is only 3.5...which can be a blessing but a curse as well because when people interact with him, they think he's older.  We had a great labor day weekend.  We were supposed to hit Warren Dunes State park over the labor day weekend but weather was iffy so we decided to hotel it and hit Chicago.  It was a must needed trip as I was totally crispy fried from a horrible oncall night so we needed a guaranteed good weekend.  Besides the hotel being arg (we will never stay at the Palmer House again...ever) it was amazing.  We took the kid to the Lincoln Park zoo and let him climb all over the childrens area.  We also hit up the children's museum on Navy Pier which was totally utopia for children.  They have this cool ship where the kids can climb from one floor to the next.  The kid was in heaven.  So needless to say, fun times were had by all in our family.

I'm battling some burnout from work....I'm tired.  I've been stretched thin for the past month since we are so bare bones.  Luckily, it went back to normal this week but I've essentially been in hiding at my office and nose to the grind stone until I get caught up.  I've had to cover 3 other co-workers jobs so it's been tiring.  I'm grateful that I'm getting this break but I know the surge will be coming soon again.  We have two days next week off for a get away so hopefully it will be restful and not stressful that I took a few days off.  Our vacation time this past summer was off because Chris had trial.  I can honestly feel that I'm due for a decent break.  Self care and time off can be hard in my life of work...I'm trying...and I'm looking forward for some days to regroup.

I'm in love with both of these dresses.  I really am.  I've been really good about not buying anything from GB but I was so tempted to buy both of them.  It was hard to send it back.  But I did and I'm sure I will get another cute one in it's place :)  The one thing I love is getting out of my comfort zone and trying something new.

That was nice....

My little man was happy for a semi-vacation.  The conference went well so it was nice to see my two co-workers who I miss dearly.  Funny how it doesn't seem like two years has passed.  You know you have good friends when things just flow like you haven't missed a beat.  I didn't cry too much with my friends.  Only when I saw my one friend on the first day, I burst out into happy tears because it had been two years since I have seen her.  I went from seeing her daily to not seeing her so it's been hard.  She's a great friend because she was real and kept me in check.

It was a much needed relaxing couple of days.  We camped the night before going up north. Originally we were supposed to stay at the camp ground until Sunday but we decided that it was going to be too much.  Plus, it was our first non state park campground and it left much to be desired because when we camp, we want to be away from the masses.  The straw that broke the camels back was when the camp ground had a "petting zoo" where they placed small animals into way too cramped quarters then 200 kids swarming the poor little things.  We looked at each other and asked, "do you want to leave" and we both nodded "hell yes"  so we got the hell out of there.  We will never go to a camp ground like that ever again...never ever...

I have some interesting things happening at work.  Was was verbally given a promotion but who knows if that is going to actually come into fruition.  The other director who is not in charge of me asked if I was interested in a team leader position so that I could help her out by supervising some staff.  We had breakfast with each other a few days earlier and she asked "what do you need here" and I noted "more money" because when I moved down here, I took a little over a 20% pay cut.  I know social workers down here have horrible wages but come on...I've seen the pay scales.  Since I was a grant position and I wanted out of my "transitional job" I jumped at my current position.  I was "supposed" to get a raise in January but I was told after they promised me a raise that "oh, we forgot, grant positions don't get a raise"   I've just had to be patient.  Funny thing is that she heard that I wasn't "interested" in taking a leadership position she heard so needless to say, I'm glad she asked.   Chris and I are on the two year plan down here.  We are giving it until the summer of 2016 to re-evaluate if we should move back to GR.  That will give me some time to see how it flows at work and then see where things stand for him.  He's loving his job.  He's moved over to the right division so he's in heaven.  He's starting school tomorrow at Penn State so things are really lining up to him.  With his recent acquisition of skills, he is really soaring in his current department which is awesome to see.  He loves his job, which is the reason why we came down here in the first place.  I just need to remind myself, two years....if it's not better, we are packing up.  It still was a smart move as we are much better off financially but in the areas of feeling accumulated we are not there.  I swear it feels one day that I will wake up and we will be back home.  There's nothing about here that feels like home.  It's just a place to store our stuff.

I'm wearing my Karen Kane dress from Gwynnie Bee.  It was a really comfy dress.  I have never worn a dress like this before so I paired it with a cardigan for work.  Plus, I wore these earrings from Rocksbox.  They were adorable so I just had to put them on.  Not too shabby :)

Is it better to know or not to know...?

So, is it better to know or not to know behind the scene things?  I had a chance to debrief with a friend and found out that I didn't bomb so horribly, in fact, things were looking super good until the last person came in.  In this instance, there was no competition...she was bound to shine, and that's okay because I've multiple times to shine in my life....and multiple times to bomb :)  Lately, I've been bombing more than shinning but that's kind of where life is at right now.  To find out that I actually did decent was surprising.  Then the other part to this, is knowing that I was this close...this close to something huge. Which in itself does suck to know I was this close...So is life...so is life, right now.

It's been a long week and I'm looking forward to the weekend and next week.  We are spending part of the weekend camping with some friends where we are taking over a Jellystone Park, no lie...there's going to be a massive party (but in a good way).  We were joking with friends that we need the T-shirts that note "2014 Jellystone Take Over".  Then the other part of the weekend is that we are headed off to Traverse City on the company dime.  I have a four day conference next week where I get to be surrounded by greatness.  I get to spend some quality time with some of my closest former co-workers so I'm super excited.  I just have to tell myself "Don't cry Kellie".  It's bad because every time I see someone from Grand Rapids, I just start to cry.  I can't help it but I miss their daily presence in life.  Heck, I'm even crying right now writing this post.  I just have this swirling emotion of missing my friends.  To spend 12 years with people in the trenches, only to move on is kind of hard for me.  I just miss them...and I can't wait to see them.  I just keep on telling myself, I can do this...I can do this...which I can but it's just not fun.

I'm wearing the 3 Dots Dress from Gwynnie Bee.  I am so expanding my tastes right now.  I have to say that this has been one of my favorite dresses ever.  I usually avoid anything with stripes but all I can say is "oh yes!!!"  It's made in the USA and it's super comfy :)

Maybe...?

Chris was at a trial for two weeks so I was a single mom for a bit.  All I have to say is kudos to the single mom's out there because that was hard.  He was home on the weekend but he was doing some major prepping so he was around but technically not available.  Luckily, the trial ended Friday so he is back but whosh!  In the middle of that, I was socked with oncall where I was out from 6pm -  3am in the morning.  All I can say is "I'm getting too old for this"...bouncing back after 3 hours of sleep and putting in a whole day's worth of work is not good.  I'm finally feeling semi-normal again but it throws me for a loop.

Here's me in this cutie.  It's something that I would normally not wear but sometimes it's nice to go outside of my comfort zone.  The day I wore it, I paired it with this killer statement necklace.  Back in the day, I would have stayed away from this dress but the new me is like "bring it on".  I almost bought the dress but it was $45 dollars off of Gwynnie Bee but I'm trying to be good this money and I'm not allowing myself to buy anything...which can be really hard.

Chris is applying time work from the home on Monday.  I'm hoping that he will get it because if he does, we can move back home eventually.  We're done with Kalamazoo.  We've given it two years and it's still doesn't feel like home to us.  Our house is gorgeous but there is no attachment to it.  Luckily, we chose well when we came down because it's looking at this point we would nearly enough money to put down about 60- 75% of what a one income home in Grand Rapids.  Then I could decide what I want to do.  A Costco cashier job is looking pretty good at this point.  I have a couple of options so it would be nice to spend time with the kid before he goes off to school.  Maybe it's a pipe dream but I'm ready to go :)  A house down the road in the older subdivision went in one day so there is no question about our home.  It's pretty unique for the subdivision and we have all the little fancies that someone would want.  I know I'm semi-dreaming but in our case, it's nice to dream :)

Oh what fun!

This is how excited the kid gets when we go camping!  It is so amazing to sit back and watch him grow with every adventure.  He can list off all the parks we have been too and what we have done there.  Like in Ludington, we visited the lighthouse or in Holland we visit The Captains (an ice cream spot where he gets a baby cone with sprinkles with a cherry on top).  This past weekend, we split the Saturday/Sunday between Holland State Park (beach side) and Grand Haven.  It was amazing.  It was our first time staying at Grand Haven but it will not be the last.  The people were so friendly there.  It's nice to be surrounded by like minded people.  Our campsite was just off the beach.  The weather wasn't the greatest on Sunday but we experienced how well the camper would take a thunderstorm.  Needless to say, the T@DA did terrific.  We were supposed to spend the whole week in Grand Haven for the Coast Guard Festival but Chris has court for work so we had to cancel our vacation.  We were kind of sad that we had to cancel but I keep on reminding myself that we can do a trip to Maine next year.  We bought the camper in New Hampshire so we will stop and visit with the former owners.  They were amazing.  I just feel so lucky to have such an amazing trailer.  It's wonderful.  It's usually the smallest in the park and we get a ton of verbal kudos from people who remark it's adorable.

I have to say with having Chris busy with court for possibly the next two weeks, I never knew how much I depended on him for support.  I have to say that I am fully appreciating him a ton.  All I can say is, can the weekend get here fast enough?

Congrats to my sister.  Today, she received her first job offer with benefits and retirement.  She was a stay at home mom until the boys went into school.  She went to the local community college and earned a certificate and did contract work for a bit.  She was able to find a job in her town so she and her husband do not have to move and she could even walk to work.  It's such an exciting time for her!  She and her husband have created an amazing life for their family because they have been available to the kids, have two rentals, and paid cash for their current home.  My brother in law is extremely handy and lucky the market is good where they live.  My folks live in the same town so it's great that they will all be together.  It's such a nice town to visit and the awesome thing is that my nephews will not have to move either.  Woot Woot for good news!

I'm still experimenting with my style.  Thanks to Gwynnie Bee, I keep on moving outside of my comfort box.  The one thing I have learned that it is so funny how sizes in women's clothing works.  In the picture, I'm wearing a 1XL Cherry Velvet.  I really liked the look of it on me but I am swimming in it.  I threw on a belt to cinch my waist a tad.  So a 1XL can be big on me, while in another brand it can be too tight on me.  I just don't get it but I will keep on learning.  I bought some accessories from the Coldwater Creek that was going out of business.  It's sad to see that company go under.  Their items held up so well.
 

I knew it!

The one amazing gift I truly have is the ability to get an accurate assessment about people very quickly after meeting them.  I've always had the ability to do this but I didn't necessarily understand it when I was younger.   Now, I'm in a spot that I use it daily and I continue to get better and better at it.   It does come in handy when you are a social worker too.  Last week I was in a room with some people, I wanted something really bad at that point in time but right when I assessed the situation only being in for less than a few minutes, I knew, it wasn't going to happen.  The universe was like "hell no, this one's not for you".  Funny that has happened in my life a few times where I have tried to convince my gut otherwise, like "you silly girl, you are just reading things wrong" but deep down inside, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I can remember my last job when I got there.  I knew right away, that it was not going to be a fit.  I remember crying on my way home from the interview and thinking "it will be okay" but deep down inside, I knew it was not going to be okay.  When I arrived on my first day at the job, I thought "oh shit, what the fuck did I do?".  I convinced myself that it was going to be okay that I took the job because we needed to transition down to Kalamazoo.  Needless to say, my reaction to my new boss/coworkers was true that it was not going to be good, despite me noting that it would "be okay", it wasn't.   Hell I do have to remind myself that I don't need a crystal ball...when I know things are not going to happen, they are not going to happen.  And that's okay.  The universe tends to lay things out how they are supposed to be.  Sometimes, I just need to sit back and just let things unfold without being too anxious about it, because what will be will be.  Just trusting that it will be okay, well, that's an interesting process.  So I'm pigeoned holed for a while and it will be okay.   The bright spot now is at least I am in a better place now mind frame wise compared to what I was. And I will take that!