Thursday, July 24, 2014

I knew it!

The one amazing gift I truly have is the ability to get an accurate assessment about people very quickly after meeting them.  I've always had the ability to do this but I didn't necessarily understand it when I was younger.   Now, I'm in a spot that I use it daily and I continue to get better and better at it.   It does come in handy when you are a social worker too.  Last week I was in a room with some people, I wanted something really bad at that point in time but right when I assessed the situation only being in for less than a few minutes, I knew, it wasn't going to happen.  The universe was like "hell no, this one's not for you".  Funny that has happened in my life a few times where I have tried to convince my gut otherwise, like "you silly girl, you are just reading things wrong" but deep down inside, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I can remember my last job when I got there.  I knew right away, that it was not going to be a fit.  I remember crying on my way home from the interview and thinking "it will be okay" but deep down inside, I knew it was not going to be okay.  When I arrived on my first day at the job, I thought "oh shit, what the fuck did I do?".  I convinced myself that it was going to be okay that I took the job because we needed to transition down to Kalamazoo.  Needless to say, my reaction to my new boss/coworkers was true that it was not going to be good, despite me noting that it would "be okay", it wasn't.   Hell I do have to remind myself that I don't need a crystal ball...when I know things are not going to happen, they are not going to happen.  And that's okay.  The universe tends to lay things out how they are supposed to be.  Sometimes, I just need to sit back and just let things unfold without being too anxious about it, because what will be will be.  Just trusting that it will be okay, well, that's an interesting process.  So I'm pigeoned holed for a while and it will be okay.   The bright spot now is at least I am in a better place now mind frame wise compared to what I was. And I will take that!

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