Friday, May 02, 2008

There's something about looking back....

I was browsing through my old website and I noticed a few things. For example, I was pretty angry for quite a while about my high school experience. Funny thing looking back now as a 32 year old who is not angry about it, just saddened that I'm not the person who I was 5, 10, 15 years ago. There's an amazing leep that I've seen even in the past three years in myself. That makes me sort of wonder why does growth only occur via age and experience? Too bad I wasn't zapped with that knowledge many years ago but then wait, I wouldn't be the person I am today, nor the person I will be tomorrow.

A few months ago I went shopping with a few of my older friends from Curves and we were talking about self esteem. The majority of these women were 40-50. All of them reported continued daily struggles with self-esteem. That made me sad but then I thanked God for feeling comfortable in my skin. I don't go through those daily struggles of negative self talk, I was at that spot 10 years ago but I love where I am today. Now that's growth because there's no room in my life for negativity like that. There's something to that positive self talk and not letting the negatives come in and seep into your core.

I've been doing this awesome therapy training for positive parenting therapy for the past six months and it's also had a huge impact on me. One of my fellow trainee's gave me a huge complement today because we were talking about motherhood. She's 50 and has 3 girls ranging from 18-23. She noted to me "Gosh Kellie, you're amazing with your skills. I wishe I would have had your skills when I was your age. You are so going to set your future children up for success". I laughed and shared about my petrifying feelings about nurturing a young infant/baby and noted "I KNOW I can raise a teen ager but those babies scare the heck out of me". She laughed and noted "You got what it takes". Nice to hear that once in a while.