Saturday, December 06, 2014

Just a little patience...

It's been four years since we knew that things were going to change in our life.  I was pregnant with the little guy and we found out that Chris's job was going to be transferred within two years.  Knowing that we were going to have to switch up everything was...well not fun.  I have trouble embracing change.  In my mind, I want to keep everything the same.  I knew what I wanted my life to be like.  We would live in our Grand Rapids house forever.  I would work at my old job.  Chris would still be at his job.  And we would fit the kid in there somewhere but that's not how it worked out to be.  We had to make a choice and driving back on christmas day 2011, I knew I did not want my husband to be stuck in a car pool 5x a week going down from Grand Rapids to Kalamazoo.  I knew then I would have to push my comfort zone and embrace the idea of moving.  Unfortunately, I never really embraced what was happening.

The last few years have been interesting.  I sometimes look at my life and feel like the Talking Heads song "Once in a Lifetime".  Especially in the lyrics part of "And you may ask yourself What is that beautiful house? And you may ask yourself Where does that highway go to?  And you may ask yourself Am I right?...Am I wrong? And you may say to yourself yourself My God!...What have I done?! "  

Which is true because there are times that I had to sit back and go "whose life is this because it's not feeling like mine".  It's not felt like mine really especially the last two years.   Like "this is not really my house...this is not really my life".  I kept wanting to wake up and hope it was a dream.  I grabbed a job that was very eye opening.  I knew I didn't follow my gut and I totally screwed myself.  Then I got into my present position.  I knew it was going to be okay but I didn't know for how long.  I had to learn to look at my life instead of a whole picture like I usually do to looking at my life with just blinders.  Then last week, an opportunity fell on my lap that is still blowing my mind.  Our whole life is going to change for the better.  Blinders off and I'm seeing the whole picture...and I can't be more excited.

Life is going to be amazing again...and I can't wait...and it's taken just a bit of patience :)

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