Hello, my name is Kellie and somewhere along the way, I lost my mojo. Can you help me find it? Oh, please, can you?
The last few months have been a blur. Not a bad blur but just a blur, like time is passing by so quickly that it scares me. I'm turning 33 next month, 33. I think it started to freak me out a few weeks ago that I am turning this age. It was fine to hit 30, heck, I was looking forward to it. But this 33 is freaking me out. I think I've been doing some inward self inspection. There are things that I need to change, but don't want to. I, Kellie, have been lazy all summer, I haven't counted points since March, and I feel...well, terrible about it. I say I want to commit to myself but then, the choices I make, well, they suck. It's not like I am going out and eating with all abadonment, but it's lost little tiny choices that I make everyday that add up to were I am now. I'm up to 188. The heaviest that I have been in years. This is because my laziness and lack of trying, I know that. I am accountable to it. I keep asking myself where is my motivation? Where's that mojo of mine? I need to change, but how? I have a couple of solutions but I need to make the changes. It's me...and I hate this feeling. People that have been here in this spot, understand where I am at. I have two options, give in, not care (which I have been doing for years, really) or put up a fight, start on the right track. I want to fight but my choices have been the lazy route.
So that's where I am at. Looking for motivation, finding some inner strength to get my "poop in a group". I want to do it again, but I find myself asking, how can I?
Thanks for listening...